Wisdom that Tempers Anger

Have you ever considered what makes you angry? Most people assume that external circumstances cause their anger. For example, when stuck in traffic, it’s easy to feel angry because the external circumstance is intruding on our internal state.

However, it’s not always clear-cut. Understanding the internal origin of anger is important because it helps us identify the problem and provides us with more tools for dealing with it. The problem isn’t necessarily the external circumstances; it’s the anger that arises from within.

At this point, you might be thinking that there’s nothing wrong with getting angry. But is that really the case? According to Proverbs, anger is not associated with a wise life.

“An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins.” (Prov. 29:22)

Is it sinful to be angry? Not necessarily. However, anger does make it easier to sin. A hot-tempered person, someone who is quick to get angry, is prone to sin. In summary, someone who is quick to get angry is slow to love God and slow to love people. Oppositely, someone who is quick to get angry, is quick to offend God and quick to hurt people.

Consider this perspective carefully because this is a particular way of viewing the problem. Anger is not ‘wrong’ because it hinders our happiness, or is psychologically unhealthy, or is emotionally damaging for myself (and potentially others). Anger is unwise, according to proverbs, because down the path of anger is the gate to sin. Proverbs 29:22 is saying we need to be motivated by a love for God and a love for people before we are motivated by some self-centered view of anger. I mention this because the world is obsessed with the self, and with psychological and emotional well-being (of which anger is a big part). But the Christian is obsessed with the love of God and those in his image.

What causes anger? Lots of anger comes from me saying, “I want…” Anger’s role in getting what we want has to do with power.

“The wise fear the LORD and shun evil, but a fool is hotheaded and yet feels secure.” (Prov. 14:16)

Anger says, ‘I’m not afraid of God, and I’m not afraid of you; in fact, you should be afraid of me, so don’t get in the road of what I want. Give me what I want.’ We get angry to get what we want because anger feels powerful. Or, as the proverb puts it, we “feel secure” when we are angry.

Another source of anger (not so much where it comes from but why it comes out) is a lack of self-control. The inability to control anger when it rises within us.

“Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.” (Prov. 29:11)

The fool gives full vent. They let loose. They explode, flip the lid, and go berserk. They’ve lost control.

We might think other people “make” us angry. We might tell ourselves, ‘I wouldn’t be angry if they didn’t make me angry. It’s other people’s fault I’m angry. Not my own.’

Here is what James says in the bible.

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.” (James 4:1–2)

The Bible tells us that anger comes from within us.

So what should we do with these desires within us?

Earlier, we said that anger makes us feel powerful. If we want something, the best way to get it is to get angry and take it. ‘I don’t want it tomorrow I want it yesterday.’ Again the proverbs speak to this power and impatience which comes from anger.

“Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.” (Prov. 16:32)

Better to be patient than a “powerful warrior”, so to speak. Better to have self-control than to take control of a city. This proverb shows the importance of character over results. We often resort to anger because we think it will get us results. Does anger give us what we want? It’s ironic because when we are angry, no matter what we get, no matter what our anger achieves for us, we’re not happy with it. Do you know why? Because we’re angry! It is an ironic spiral of self-induced, self-purpetuating dissatisfaction.

Instead, the proverb says, it is better to be patient than a warrior, and to be self-controlled than control a city. Self-control is essentially the opposite to been hot-tempered. Instead of being quick to anger, with self-control, one is slow to anger. Proverbs speak of self-control and anger when it talks about patience.

“Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.” (Prov. 14:29)

The issue of anger is an issue of character. It’s not about doing something different, it’s about being someone different. In the book of Proverbs, we are given a lot of practical advice – wise advice we ought to put into practice. But we need more than that. We need to see it put into practice. What does it look like to be wise? Instruction alone is not enough. We need an example.

We see this wisdom put into practice by the Lord Jesus, who is wisdom Himself. We see Jesus’ patience, love, and self-control. Even when we see his anger, it is not tainted by sin but by zeal for the Lord. His anger is so unlike our own anger. But the New Testament doesn’t only show us what wisdom looks like in the Lord Jesus. By trusting in the Lord Jesus the Bible says God changes our lives (we might reverse 1 Cor. 15:33 and say, “Good company transforms bad character.”) Now, by the power of the Holy Spirit who lives with us, our lives are changed. We bear the fruit of the Spirit – characteristics like patience, humility, and self-control.

Part of the way it happens is when God works in our lives through his word. When we read God’s word, like the proverbs, God speaks to us, challenges us and changes us to be people of self-control, patience, and humility, just like the Lord Jesus. Having a relationship with God is the doorway to a wise life. As the proverb says, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” (Prov. 9:10)