Time and the individual.

One way we see time is as a resource given to an individual. Each person is given an allotment of time to do with what they see fit. But we oft complain of its shortness, the speed with which it passes, and our inability to use it effectively to our own ends and desires. Our lives are short, our time is finite. We feel this way (in part) because we have a view so constrained upon the self that we measure things in reference to the self. I don’t think that this is necessarily wrong because there is certainly a lot of truth to it. Our life is our own, our time is our own and nobody else’s. We are responsible for our use of it.

But it’s not all about what I accomplish with my life. Whether I realise it or not my life is always going to be part of something bigger than my ‘self’. We might feel the need to measure our life according to some narrow conception of achievement with a direct link to our own efforts. Thus, that which I have started and consequently completed, or saw develop is to be numbered in my achievements. To measure my use of time is then a narrow measurement of actions or consequences linked as closely as possible to my ‘self’.

By example, with my time I received a Bachelor of Nursing and I received a Bachelor of Divinity. After a number of years you can view my chess accomplishments according to my chess rating (ELO) which is a pitiful representation of my time. All these examples have a direct link to me and what I have done with my time. They include a perspective that is attributed directly to my efforts and nobody else’s. The bachelor has my name on it. My chess rating has my name on it.

Christian or church history doesn’t have my name on it. Australian history doesn’t have my name on it. My wife or my friends’ holiness does not have my name on. Yet with a view to the bigger picture and the story connected through other people’s stories, I will be a contributor. That’s a keyword – contributor. We are not the sole accomplisher but a mere contributor to a grander story. What I accomplish with my short dishevelled, disjointed and contradictory life, will be nothing of note. What I contribute to, however, may be of great note depending on the cause – it will be bigger than my life, than ‘my’ time.

The point is not to measure my contribution. That’s to make the same error we are seeking to avoid, only in a different guise. The point is to forget yourself as you contribute to something bigger. Perhaps in this sense we consider our time as an investment in something big. My time is not for myself (at least not solely for myself – yes I will be judged according to my life, but I will contribute to more than my life.)

I’m not exactly sure what this means for my life. Perhaps it’s just a passing thought. I think it does give me a little more perspective in a world so preoccupied with the ‘self’ and achievements. In this sense, there may even be some minor anxiety I am relieved of by being a little less concerned about my inability to achieve unrealistic goals with my finite time.