How Dark Can It Get?

In life, in our interactions with one another, we often don’t see very far into the heart, into the past, into the experience of another. We see as far as they will allow us. At times someone can be so broken it’s written all over them, it’s evident. Such is the extent of their brokenness (that might be you – nothing wrong with that, except that it’s a sadness to be so visibly broken). But I think more often we conceal the darkness of ourselves, and the troubles of our past or present from sight. There is a western middle class cultural ethos of having to present as totally functioning and unstained. Being emotionally put together and in control. Otherwise, it’s an embarrassment – we might think.

But in the context of our church relationships as Christians, we will be (hopefully) prompted to share our burdens with others, to speak of the darkness within – sins committed by us or sins committed against us, or simply the ways the world has tempted us or battered us physically, mentally or spiritually. It should not surprise us to hear of the darkness within and from outside. Although I want to say, it often does surprise us to hear it. Why? Because all around us the world puts on emotional, physical and spiritual make-up. We look pretty to others but it’s not the whole picture. So when we finally get to hear a story of pain or hear a story of sins committed, we may be inwardly (or even outwardly!) surprised and perhaps even worried – “This shouldn’t be happening. This isn’t right. I thought you were a ‘good’ person. I thought you were a decent person. I thought you were ‘low maintenance’!” Such internal dialogue is simply a symptom or product of our world’s preoccupation to hide what’s inside.

In order to correct this thinking or prepare for such a thought, encounter or moment, let me suggest you do a few things.

Firstly, read the bible and discover the perspective of the Lord: “The LORD saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time.” (Gen. 6:5) We are capable of great good. But that’s simply the outworking of God’s general grace. Can we truly merit that to our untainted selves? Nope.

Secondly, don’t have merely superficial relationships with people at church. Find out what’s under the make-up. To aid this, take off your own make-up. In the Anglican tradition we together confess our shortcomings in church. This is such an easy opportunity and space to talk with trusted brothers or sisters about the battles we have with sin. There is a wonderful freedom to be so free from sin that you can actually confess sin. We all know we can ‘confess’ without actually ‘confessing’. Sounds unintuitive. But that’s the place we find ourselves in. We may say, doctrinally, we are no longer bound by sin. But there is a cultural shame at certain sins regardless.

Thirdly, be careful not to say things like, “you might be struggling with [insert permissible sin such as greed], but at least you haven’t murdered someone.” Perhaps they have! We think we are (rarely) capable of committing serious sins. Let me advise caution here. We are capable of great evil. Don’t underestimate others, (and your own!) ability to sin.

Let us remember Jesus words,

“While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”’ (Matt. 9:10–13)