Over the past few months I’ve had a couple of people express the idea to me that the spirit of a deceased baby returns with the birth of a subsequent child.
While I realise that this idea may comfort some people, as a Christian I find it to be problematic with what I understand of God, the finality of death, and the relationship between our body, spirit/soul and personhood. I’ll expand on each of these.
In thinking about God, as someone who knows him though his son Jesus, I am comforted by the indications in the Bible that my child is safely with him (For more on the topic of infant salvation, both Perman and Mohler have written helpful articles). While obviously I would love for my deceased daughter to be with me, at the same time with David I can say, ‘I will go to [her] but [she] will not return to me’ (2 Samuel 12:23). And where David was going was to be in the presence of the Lord – ie, heaven. Rather than finding comfort in the idea of my child returning to me in the body of another baby, I am comforted that I will one day see her again in heaven and the future new creation – when she will have a beautiful new resurrection body that is not broken like her old one was.
This verse also touches on the finality of death for our time in this present world – the Bible does not say that we return in another body. Rather, ‘it is appointed for man to die once’ (Hebrews 9:27). Even though it is grievously sad and unnatural for one so young to die, the Bible does not indicate any exception to the finality of death in their instance. Rather, it joins us in grieving such occurrence – and even describes the new creation as being a place where, ‘no more shall there be in it an infant who lives but a few days’ (Isaiah 65:20). I look forward to that.
What’s more, to believe that the spirit of a deceased infant will return in the next baby is to deny the importance of our bodies for our personhood. Contrary to popular western notions of self, biblically our bodies are an important part of who we are. We are not a soul trapped within a body, but an embodied soul. This is reflected in the fact that our hope as Christians is in a bodily resurrection. While of course these will be glorious, new bodies that are no longer subjected to disease and decay, our ultimate destination is to be embodied – not wandering, disembodied spirits. Also, although they can’t communicate and express their individuality as much as an older child or adult, babies are just as much unique persons as the rest of us – and their bodies are an important part of them too. When my husband and I try for a second child, (if we are blessed with another) they will be a unique person as well – not a replacement of our first, and certainly not a reincarnation of her.
Losing a baby is very distressing, and I intimately understand the desire to want such a precious, little-one back. However, I think that the position I hold is ultimately more robust and comforting than one which believes the baby’s spirit will return in another child. After all, if my hope were in my child returning to me in this life now then how would I cope if I discovered I had secondary infertility? Or if I were too old to have another? How miserable!
Also, what factual foundation is there for such a belief? In my experience it seems to fall more into the category of ‘nice idea’ – with maybe a good dose of contemporary Australian New Age syncretism thrown in there for good measure. But rather, the truth of the Bible’s claims is supported by history’s testimony to Jesus’ resurrection. Such testimony has been tested and tried and passed on as true for a long, long time. And such truth not only has more helpful implications but gives much, much better comfort.
Bigvai and Shiphrah 